


Safe Haven

by fragilecapricornpanic



Series: Even Numbers [32]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves Friendship, Ben Hargreeves Deserves Better, Canon Compliant, Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Ghost Ben Hargreeves, Humor, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves Needs Help, Light Angst, No Incest, No Slash, One Shot, One Shot Collection, POV Alternating, Pre-Canon, Protective Ben Hargreeves, Protective Diego Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:29:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27231265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fragilecapricornpanic/pseuds/fragilecapricornpanic
Summary: “Can I help you?...” the guy at the door cautiously asked, looking vaguely near Ben as he tried to figure out who or what Klaus was speaking to. Ben grinned, enjoying being kind of noticed for once. “Do this more often, people think you’re crazy anyway!” Ben gleefully demanded, which made Klaus pettily throw an arm through his torso. Right where the tentacles used to fly out of. “I’m looking for Diego?” Klaus casually wafted his hand around as though he’d been trying to swat something. That didn’t really explain himtalkingto Ben, but whatever.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Series: Even Numbers [32]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1944895
Comments: 2
Kudos: 53





	Safe Haven

Ben and Klaus looked to one another with confusion when a man who certainly wasn’t Diego opened their brother’s door. Of course to him it just looked like Klaus was staring at nothing, which understandably made him slightly uneasy. “Is he secretly...“ Klaus made a very stereotypical limp wrist gesture, as if Ben would have any clue if Diego wasn’t straight. “I feel like you know more about that than me.” he responded amusedly, them both forgetting the man was waiting for Klaus to address him.

“Can I help you?...” the guy cautiously asked, looking vaguely near Ben as he tried to figure out who or what Klaus was speaking to. Ben excitedly grinned, enjoying being kind of noticed for once. “Do this more often, people think you’re crazy anyway!” Ben gleefully demanded, which made Klaus pettily throw an arm through his torso. Right where the tentacles used to fly out of. “I’m looking for Diego?” Klaus casually wafted his hand around as though he’d been trying to swat something. That didn’t really explain him _talking_ to Ben, but whatever.

The man furrowed his brow, though Ben wasn’t sure if he was more thrown by Klaus acting insane or by the name Diego. “Hispanic guy. Looks kinda like he wrestled a bear, huuuge scars. Very broody, lots of kni-“ Ben waved a hand in front of Klaus to silence him, irritated by his drug induced stupidity. His brother had indulged more today than usual, which was saying something. “I think his name would’ve sufficed, considering this was his apartment.” Ben uttered condescendingly, wondering how Klaus would do literally anything without him there. Their brother had clearly moved out, but Ben was liking being sort of looked at by the new inhabitant. Klaus could work it out on his own. His brain could do with the exercise.

“Are you okay?” the man questioned with wary concern, once again somewhat looking at Ben. “No, I’m _dying!_ Which is why I need Diego.” Klaus dramatically lied, frenziedly clicking at the man to prompt him to immediately answer his original question. This was infuriating, even Diego had better hospitality than this - and he acted like he hated Klaus most of the time. “Oh. I- I’m so sorry...” he awkwardly replied, seeming wildly uncomfortable due to this declaration. He wasn’t even the person who was dying!

“Reaaaally need to find Diego before I die!” Klaus sang with extremely thin patience, growing close to spitefully punching a hole through the door. “I recently moved in, if that helps?” the guy very unhelpfully explained. How did Diego keep managing to get new apartments? They all ended up with knife holes all over the place. How incompetent were these landlords? Klaus should be able to get his own apartment too, if Mr Stabby could get them so frequently. “Did he leave a forwarding address?” The man’s face remained incredibly blank, shaking his head. “Did he leave a forwarding _number?_ ” He better have left a goddamn forwarding number. Diego was Klaus’ only reliable meal ticket.

Luckily the guy hummed in thought, shuffling further into the apartment to rummage through a collection of letters. Without planning on it, Klaus entered into the apartment in his distraction - purely out of nosiness. Maybe also to steal from him, hopefully he wasn’t as poor as Diego. Klaus shoved the first shiny thing he saw into his pocket, like a narcotic dependent magpie. “What are you doing?! Get out!” Ben worriedly nagged, which Klaus chose to totally blank. All of the knife holes were of course still there. A great deal of them being around Klaus’ height, which was by no coincidence.

“I take it he’s Diego Har-“ the man abruptly stopped his speaking to nervously jump when he found Klaus standing right beside him. “Do you mind going back out there...” Klaus blanked him too, leaning over his shoulder to check if the paper actually had a number written on it. “Danke!” Klaus snatched the note from his hand, giving Ben an enthusiastic thumbs up. “I-“ the man glanced from Klaus and to Ben again, growing more unnerved. Very judgemental, Klaus felt. “Can I have _your_ number too?” Klaus looked him up and down flirtatiously, just because he could. “What I’m dying from isn’t contagious...” Unsurprisingly, Ben loudly sighed with despair from the hall. “Someone’s going to murder you one day, and you’re kinda gonna deserve it.”

—

Hearing his brother’s voice, Diego instantly hung up the phone. Not today. The phone predictably rang again. He begrudgingly picked it up, just incase it was of dire importance. “As I was saying before you were an ignorant prick - the guy who moved in to your last place is even meaner than you! He threw me out like Jazzy Jeff on The Fresh Prince!” Diego had to give his brain a few moments to catch up. “Why the hell were you inside to begin with?!” He should’ve warned the new guy about his erratic brother. Klaus mischievously giggled as response. “Please tell me you didn’t try to rob him.” Diego groaned, dreading his new landlord being contacted about this. “No! Jesus, Diego. If I was going to rob somebody, they wouldn’t be poor enough to live there.” Diego rolled his eyes, already wishing he hadn’t picked up the phone. It clearly wasn’t urgent. “You robbed me _multiple_ times whilst I goddamn lived there.” Diego threw a knife into the wall out of frustration, straight away losing his new deposit. It was always Klaus’ fault. “Don’t be pedantic, just give me your new address.” his brother replied dismissively, as if they hadn’t literally just mentioned him robbing Diego on several occasions.

Seemingly Klaus hadn’t figured out that Diego had chosen not to leave a forwarding address for a reason. Or he had realised, and was too much of an asshole to care. “No. Go to a shelter.” Diego put his foot down, sick of losing his already minimal possessions. “Do you know how _gross_ they are?! They’re full of junkies!” Klaus complained with complete sincerity. “Well then you know how I feel every time I have to spend time with you.” Diego insulted his brother, feeling like forcing Klaus to stay in one of those places was good karma. “But I’m your brother!” Klaus sounded like he was sulkily kicking the phone booth, like a little brat. “I know, and that fact keeps me up at night.” Diego snidely shut down the guilt tripping. He’d heard enough of that to last a life time. “That’s just rude!” Klaus whined, which was actually quite entertaining for Diego. The kicking noise grew more rapid. He decided to stay on the phone, rather enjoying this puerile bickering. “Bug Vanya instead.” Diego suggested without prior thought, instantly regretting the words. “Actually no, don’t!” Their sister would probably give Klaus her bed and sleep on the couch herself, she was so docile. Her belongings would also not-so-mysteriously vanish.

Vanya’s apartment was too far to walk to, and Klaus was currently wasting the last of his change on this payphone. The bus was off the cards. Diego didn’t know that though. This was good leverage. “Vanya’s you say... that’s a really good idea.” he manipulatively drawled, smirking at the panicked face he was picturing on Diego. “No, don’t go to Vanya’s!” Diego exclaimed in a fluster, aware how anxious Klaus’ weirdness made her. “Well if I can’t stay at your place...” Ben was glowering at him judgementally, displeased with his scheming. “Suck a ghost dick.” Klaus hissed, covering the mic with his hand. “There are no other ghosts, because you’re always too high.” Ben haughtily stated, unbothered by Klaus’ childish comment. Klaus frowned with disappointment, uncovering the mic when Diego’s insistent reprimanding grew louder. “Don’t go to fucking Vanya’s!” his brother practically yelled down the phone. Ever the hot-head. “Give me your address, and I’ll leave Vanya alone.” Klaus offered his trade, flicking his cigarette butt through Ben just for the sake of it. “I hate being dead.”

—

Diego scowled with disbelief as his brother unexpectedly got in the elevator with him. “No, you don’t like them. Get out.” he tried to shoo Klaus, not wanting to be stuck in an enclosed space with him. The car was bad enough. “Nah, I can do them now.” Klaus assured him, seeming very proud of himself. How dare he get over that fear, this was one of Diego’s only safe havens.

“Great. That’s just great.” Diego bitterly congratulated him, deciding he’d just take the stairs instead. His brother repeatedly prodded the button to close the doors, grinning at Diego’s discomfort. The doors closed on his face just before he could escape. “As soon as Vanya moves, I’m moving again too.” Vanya better move incredibly soon. “I’m sure you will. You have even worse commitment issues than me.” Klaus cockily teased, as if he wasn’t the most flighty person known to man. “Stop talking.” Diego frustratedly demanded when his brother continued his incoherent story from the car. “I don’t give a shit!” he groaned when Klaus carried on as if Diego had never even said anything. Why did dad have to buy both of them? Couldn’t he have left at least one of them in their original country?

When the elevator opened on another floor to let somebody else in, Diego shot out of it - they could deal with his brother instead. “I don’t live on this floor.” Diego grunted when Klaus followed him, feeling like he was trapped in an irritating nightmare. “I know, I’m just keeping you company!” his brother chirpily exclaimed, clearly just purposefully annoying him. “I wish you were Luther.” Diego lied, aware he would still rather spend time with Klaus. But only just.

“And I wish you were Allison, but we have to make the most of a bad situation.” Why did Allison have to live so far away? She was way more fun than Diego. Plus she wasn’t poor as all hell. One of her heels probably cost more than Diego’s whole existence. “You and Allison deserve each other.” Diego pettily bit back, rushing up the steps two at a time to get away from Klaus. “Yeah, because we’re both great!” Duh. “Why are you walking with him?! He can’t even see you!” Klaus yelled at Ben when he very rudely joined Diego instead. “I like him better.” Ben responded in a very matter of fact manner, probably still pissy about earlier. “Bullshit! I’m your best friend!” Neither of them had much choice in the matter, but they were definitely each other’s closest friends. “You’re really not.” Ben scoffed, as if he could talk to any other person. His dead brother legitimately couldn’t be more of a third wheel. “Both of you are so _mean_ to me!”

Reaching his floor, Diego chose not to address Klaus yelling at absolutely nothing. It was always easier to just pretend he didn’t do that. “Will you at least use your inside voice?” Diego hissed, not wanting his new neighbors to complain about him bringing a lunatic into the building. It was like Klaus was determined for Diego to have nowhere to live either. “Allison wouldn’t make me use my inside voice.” Klaus huffily grumbled, finally finishing the stairs. She would literally make him use his inside voice, with her power of actual mind control. Diego wasn’t even going to start quarrelling about that, it would be unproductive.

Taking advantage of Klaus’ painfully slow dawdling, Diego unlocked his door and placed a hand over the apartment number whilst he waited. “People say _I’m_ the weird one.” his brother confusedly squinted at Diego covering the door number, once he’d eventually caught up. Physically. He was still mentally behind. “That’s because you _are_ the weird one.” Diego kicked Klaus through the door, annoyed by him just leisurely looking through the doorway. “I genuinley leave with bruises every time I see you, who hurt you?!”

Swiftly closing the door before his brother could see the door number, Diego locked it behind them. “Care to explain what that was about?!” Diego continued to ignore Klaus and ambled into his room, intending on hiding the key so his brother couldn’t steal from him overnight. He’d probably still just climb out of the window if he was determined enough. “Can’t break in if you don’t know the number.” Diego smugly drawled, confident this would prevent finding his door kicked in. Why did his knives have to be ideal for pawning? Maybe Klaus would leave him alone if they weren’t. Having an addict for a brother was unbelievably mentally tiring. Even more so than having Luther for a brother. “I can just wait outside the apartment building, genius!” Klaus taunted from the living room. Diego growled to himself, enraged he hadn’t thought of that. How didn’t he think of that?!

“Can’t you just steal from other people?” Diego begged, tossing the key into his dresser drawer. He was so worn out by this bullshit. “What the hell do you think I do every other day of the year?” Klaus chuckled, amused by his intentional obliviousness. “I try not to think about it.” Diego sauntered back into the lounge, frowning at the early hour on the clock. That just meant longer with Klaus insufferably awake. “Me too.” Klaus wearily murmured, hastily putting down the radio he’d been suspiciously checking out. “This is exactly why I didn’t want you here, pawn shops probably own more of my shit than I do.” Diego should’ve hidden the radio, that was a rookie error. “Pawn shops don’t keep things, that’s kinda the point.” Klaus corrected him with a sly smirk. Diego threw a knife at the wall out of frustration again, next to the one still there from their torturous phone call. There would probably be ten more there when Klaus left tomorrow. This may just be Diego’s shortest tenancy yet.

Ben shuddered, finding a sharp knife being thrown through him felt even weirder than cigarettes. “You could’ve killed him!” Klaus cried out, purely to tease Ben about being dead. “Ha ha.” Ben sarcastically laughed, getting as far out of the line of fire as the tiny apartment would allow. Diego sighed, irritated by Klaus’ seemingly nonsensical remark. As much as Ben hated it, Diego believed he and Klaus were the only two people in the apartment. “This is the first and last time I’m ever gonna say these words, okay?” Diego slowly spoke to Klaus, wandering over to lean on the couch beside their brother’s head. “Please get as high as you _possibly_ can-” Ben groaned, crushed that he’d apparently lost his only ally in the fight against Klaus’ drug abuse. “-so you’ll fall asleep, and shut the fuck up.” Ben suddenly stopped his groaning, deciding that wasn’t such a bad suggestion by Diego after all.

It was only 8pm, but Ben had also had enough of Klaus for today. He’d frankly had enough of their brother for several days. “Only downers!” Diego frantically clarified, worried incase his request would accidentally make Klaus even more talkative. God forbid. Glancing at the two knives sticking out of the wall, Ben couldn’t help but think somebody should really tell Diego about stress balls.


End file.
